Grand And Toy

For the past eight years, I've worked at an engineering company. I'm not an engineer -- I'm a computer geek by trade. But I've had the opportunity to learn a bit about engineers, and I can say one thing with certainty: those guys use a crapload of paper. Ironically, a significant chunk of our engineering business involves designing and constructing pulp and paper mills. I suspect there's some sort of strange, vicious economic circle at work that will eventually implode and cause several businesses to collapse.

Our office supply company at work is Grand and Toy. They must love us. Somewhere there's a Grand and Toy executive with a mansion, a yacht, and a 1969 Jaguar XK E-Type roadster (well, maybe he doesn't have the Jag, but I would), who owes it all to our engineers and their endless drawings and documents. We've written entire computer systems and hired full-time staff simply to manage drawings and documents.

So, am I going to rant about the destruction of our forests? Preach about the obsolesence of paper and the inevitable rise of the digital office? Nope, I'm going to pay homage to the simple, humble, overlooked masterpiece that makes it all possible.

I'm talking, of course, about Grand and Toy product number 99155. 5000 sheets, packaged as 10 x 500 sheets, of general-purpose letter sized paper. The paper itself, though worthy, is unremarkable. The wondrous thing is the box.

Ah, the box. Sturdy, lightweight, with a removable lid, and perfectly, perfectly, perfectly sized. It holds enough, but never too much. Its crush weight is impressive. It is predominantly white, allowing for easy labelling in black marker. And in a synergy too inspired to be coincidental, it stacks perfectly, six to a shelf, on a properly-configured set of Gorm shelving. It is every organized person's dream.

A bit of quick math tells me that there are probably 200 such boxes in my basement. I plan to double that number, eliminating all other cardboard boxes. They are unworthy, with their random sizes and unpredictable stacking characteristics. May they be left out in the rain and become moldy (but recycled, not thrown out). I know that I shall never run out of Grand and Toy boxes, for the engineers consume much paper, and the paper comes in many boxes, and they are mine for the taking!